Adding To Your Credibility - Just Say No! (Part 1)

Newsletter 11/7/07

A "no" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

~MAHATMA GANDHI~

How many times have we said "yes," and what we really needed to say was "no?" As women, we have been known to put others first and it can be a habit that is deeply ingrained. Can we make a new habit of putting ourselves first? There are many reasons that keep us saying yes to every request for our time and for our efforts. Do you think you would have less stress if you were able to think your answer through before saying yes? What are some reasons that many of us quickly agree to saying yes without thinking deeply about our choices?

First of all, we often have ourselves on auto pilot to say yes, almost like a default program on our computer that opens up whenever we turn the computer on; very often we can find ourselves saying yes every time there is a request directed at us. Being available to cheerfully assist could make us feel as though we will be better liked and we will appear as a cooperative person; an important aspect of success in our work is being a good team player. Saying yes could make us feel important, and it could also be that we love to be needed; most of us are just plain nice, but it really isn't always being nice to ourselves in the moment.

One of the ways I justify my own lack of determining what is best for me is that I know I will enjoy doing what is asked of me. I love the challenge of fitting one more activity into an already busy schedule. Unrealistically, I just have not thought it through, to realize the truth that there may not be enough hours to comfortably add another task to the mix of activities. Now I realize I have said yes too often and took on too many projects that are of my own liking. This can definitely interfere with what is best for me and my peak performance. When we know why we tend to say yes when we should say no, it is helpful to create the criteria through which we will determine the best choice for answering "yes" or "no."

I challenge you to notice the times when you are asked to do for others, or the times when we just offer to help even when we have not been asked to help. Just by becoming aware of these times, we can begin to notice when we need to stop and place some thought into choosing our action.

~ Lorraine ~