Don't take care of yourself just for your benefit. Do it for everyone around you!
Paradoxically, it's selfish if you fail to take good care of yourself, because the burden of your emotional mood or needs may fall on someone else. Ooh, this is one of those tough truths, isn't it?
Think about it. If you don't fill your own well enough or practice smart boundaries, what's likely to happen? A bit more crankiness and no energy left for feeling "Joy to the World"? If you don't practice smart boundaries, will you be someone who blows up in traffic or get overly stressed out in a long line at the mall? Snap at your spouse for not remembering to pick up the cinnamon sticks?
This year, be a hero and practice what I call Proactive Resentment Prevention. You may also need its cousin, Proactive Exhaustion Prevention, which conveniently spells PEP.
Stay very aware of your energy and when you need to refill your well or not say "yes" to one more thing. I felt some exhaustion and resentment building during a busy, emotionally and professionally challenging week. A visiting relative was napping and my husband was starting dinner. If I wanted to win my badge for being a good girl, I'd help with dinner, right? I actually asked my husband if I might go to a movie, explaining it would be smart proactive resentment prevention. He said- Yes, Go. (Wonderful, smart man!)
In the dark theater with just me and my popcorn I breathed a sigh of delicious calm. 2 hours later, I enjoyed dinner with my family and pleasant evening, feeling more capacity to be generous and compassionate with everyone. (Because I'm learning to take responsibility for being compassionate and generous enough with myself.)
~ Marian Baker ~
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