Success is Like Riding a Bicycle

Newsletter 12/19/07

Okay, a show of hands, please!

How many of you learned to ride a bicycle as a child?

Hey, that's quite a lot of you.

Now, close your eyes and remember what it felt like to ride a bicycle for the first time. Maybe yours had training wheels that helped to balance the bike as you gained confidence riding on the sidewalk in front of your house. As your confidence expanded, and also from observing the older children in the neighborhood riding without any assistance, you then graduated to your first test without training wheels.

It was scary!

At the beginning came the wobbling of the tires and excited, hurried pedaling as you struggled to break free of your parent's or older sibling's guiding hand for balance. And, perhaps there were one or two falls along the way! However, through your determination, willpower, desire, and continued practice, you soon sped forward on your own.

As you grew in size and age, you moved up to bigger and more complex bicycles and mastered them all. Some of you even learned to ride without holding onto the handlebars or perhaps did "daredevil" tricks jumping over ramps like Evel Knievel.

And, I'll bet now that even if you haven't ridden a bicycle in years, you could still do it.

Now, let's take a look at success. For many people, success or being successful is just as scary as the first time they rode a bicycle. Naturally, many people want to be successful. However, there are few that truly have the motivation to put forward the needed effort and action and make the necessary sacrifices to get what they want.

Here are four of my success strategies. Make them part of your "quest for success."

1) Just as you did when you learned to ride a bicycle, here is only one way to accomplish anything today -- set your mind to concentrate on doing it and let nothing interfere with your progress. Obstacles, whether they be training wheels on a bike or lack of resources (money, time, lack of skill, etc.), are quickly overcome by the person who sets out to accomplish their heart's desire. Those who have the desire, "the fire in the belly" so to speak, will outdistance and outperform those who do not.

2) No matter what anyone says, "Size does matter." When you first learned to ride a bike, you were a child. As you grew to adulthood, of course, you were faced with greater and more challenging situations. On your road to success, remember this quote from my Success System book, "The Power of Concentration: How to Take Control of Your Life"...

"The 'bigger' you are, the smaller the obstacle appears. The 'smaller' you are, the greater the obstacle appears."

Always look at the advantage you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed "size" and courage for the conquest -- now and in the future.

3) Do not expect that you will always have a smooth road, free of potholes, speed bumps, and detours. Parts of your journey are likely to be rough. The way you navigate the bad roads shows exactly what you are made of. Keep on with your journey and view with delight the smooth roads that are in front of you.

4) Do not let a setback stop you. Just like when you skinned your knees and elbows learning to ride, think of it as a mere incident that has to be overcome before you can reach your goal. Learn from it and use the lesson to move ahead.

Success IS like riding a bicycle. Learn my strategies of success outlined above, and you will ALWAYS be up to the challenge -- regardless of the size.

~ K.Shaw~

Self-Confidence Secrets: Measure Your Success

Newsletter 12/12/07

Would you like to be confident in the things you do? Most people would. The problem is that many people aren't sure how. They think it is some mystical trait that some people seem to have and others don't. Actually, being confident in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals is a skill that can be learned.

Let's say you've decided to move forward in your efforts to achieve your goals and have taken action. Congratulations for reaching this point! Along the way you will certainly experience many victories. Yet there will also be challenges. To keep yourself going, you are going to need lots of support from one very important person: Yourself! This support comes in the form of setting achievable goals, supportive self-talk, self-monitoring to acknowledge success, and plenty of rewards along the way.

Today's theme is the crucial importance of acknowledging success. To balance the scale of triumphs and challenges, the skill needed is learning to recognize and feel good about all the little steps you take each day, and the efforts you put forth toward achieving your goal. Building on every little victory acts like fuel to your confidence. Achieving any new goal isn't easy. It takes decision, hard work, effort, and dedication. But that is what this life is about - setting new goals for ourselves and accomplishing those goals. Learning to feel good along the path to something new is what makes life a grand adventure.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." - Albert Schweitzer



WHY ACKNOWLEDGE SUCCESS?

For many, the journey toward reaching the overall goal is often a long road. It's frequently so full of experiences and opportunities (okay, challenges) that we often don't notice the gradual change that is occurring. We don't recognize the progress we have made. This error of self-acknowledgment can be devastating and stop us dead in our tracks.

One surefire way of putting out your own fire is to dismiss your success. Let's imagine you've been binging on food for quite a few days. Through much effort and determination, you manage to stay binge-free for three days. Following these three days, you binge again. What are you most likely to do with this situation?

* Do you count those three days as success?


* Do you dismiss those three days as proof that since they didn't last, you are not good enough to have what you want -- now falling into helplessness or hopelessness?


* Do you use those three days (and subsequent relapse) as an occasion to self-condemn and shame yourself?


* Do those three days count for anything wonderful in your book?



WHEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE SUCCESS

One day, I decided I wanted to increase the amount of water I was drinking each day. I thought this goal through and decided that the best way to achieve success would be to drink one bottle of water each morning as I was getting ready for my day. After a few weeks had gone by, I pondered my goal. I realized that almost every morning I had drunk one full bottle of water. Had I achieved success with my goal? How long must a goal be achieved before I could call myself successful?

Contemplating, I became aware of my own particularly nasty habit. I set goals for myself. With enough time, my goals became habits. But I had no mental criteria established for when I could call myself successful. There was no endpoint of "How do I know I've achieved my goal?" And since there was no endpoint, there was no feeling good at the end of my goal. I was running my own life story of not being good enough for myself, and having to earn my own love but never succeeding. I sat there amazed at my own self-realization. I asked, "How long must I maintain a behavior before I can call myself successful?" The answer came immediately: "The very first time the behavior is achieved, you are successful." Wow! This about blew me away. I successfully achieved my goal the first day I followed through with my intention. No wonder I never felt enough. I was completely failing to recognize, acknowledge, or celebrate my strengths, efforts, and my achievements.

Many of the people I work with also have no internal criteria established for knowing when they are successful. Oh, sure, they may say when they lose 40 pounds, then they will be successful. Or when they stop binging, then they will be happy. But what happens when they lose those 40 pounds or stop binging for several days? Success is never measured, never celebrated, never acknowledged. Eventually a few pounds creep back on or a relapse in binge behavior occurs. Wouldn't you know it? This gets acknowledged! Lots of negative self-talk, huge emotion, beastly feelings of self-reproach... now there is evidence that success cannot be achieved. Without being conscious of it, the criteria were that if the weight was maintained forever, or a binge never occurred again, then success would be achieved. The problem with this strategy? Success can't be measured until forever occurs, meaning success never occurs.

"Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. Courage is what counts." - Sir Winston Churchill



SUCCESS EXERCISE

Close your eyes and relax. Think of a success you had today. Maybe it was feeling good, or deciding to drive past the fast food restaurant, or choosing to sit still while envisioning your goal, or laughing instead of feeling heavy. Maybe you overcame an urge, and even though later you didn't overcome the urge, that first "overcoming" was a success. You cannot change the fact of it or deny that it was a success.

Remember your goals. Recall your successes of the day. Remember your efforts. Get in touch with your very being. Feel your physical body. Breathe in... breathe out. Acknowledge your successes over and over again in your mind. Say to yourself, "I was truly successful. There is no denying that." Imagine the lightness of your joy is spreading all around, filling your body. It is filling your chest, spreading to your abdominal cavity reaching towards your thighs, legs, and feet. Think of a similar spread to your shoulders, arms, hand, head, neck, and face. Now your whole body is filled with radiant blissful lightness. You are calm and centered and feeling really good. Nourish your goal by looking for more successes. Bring your goal life and light through praise and intention and enthusiasm. Strengthen your goal by feeding it love. Breathe in... breathe out.

DO YOU:

1. Expect the best from yourself?

2. Understand your needs and use this information to create an environment that builds your motivation?

3. Establish standards of excellence that are attainable for yourself?

4. Create an environment where failure isn't fatal?

5. Encourage yourself or nag yourself?

6. Recognize and applaud your efforts?

7. Use a mixture of positive and negative reinforcement (acknowledge without judgment, but with honesty, your failures)?


~ Dr. Annette Colby ~

Celebrate your Life!

Newsletter 12/5/07



My very first coach, Rachelle Disbennett-Lee has two favorite sayings, "My life is perfect and only getting better," and "Today is the best day of my life!" And she's serious about both. It's really fun to be around Rachelle because she radiates this 'best life' point of view. Whenever I try this too, I instantly feel lighter because I've shifted into a lighthearted and playful attitude.
I'm asking you to try this too. Say out loud, "This is the best day of my life!" and mean it.


See how great it feels? This simple act will raise your perception to a whole new level. From this vantage point, you'll begin to notice and celebrate all of the positive things around you, putting you in an upward spiral of constructive energy versus a downward spiral of negativity. Even if nothing earth-shattering happens, you'll be in a better mood. And this mood is attractive and appealing to others. If someone overhears you and doesn't quite get it, that's okay! You'll be having a great day, so it's worth a few questioning looks. My favorite personal saying is, "All is well in my world." Whenever I connect with this truth, I really do feel as though I'm having the best day of my life and that it's only getting better.

~ Christen ~

Clarity about Clutter

Newsletter 11/28/07

Life Improvement Tips

Clarity about Clutter

I'm an organized person -- just ask anyone who knows me. In spite of my talents at organization, clutter loomed its ugly head during our recent move. You see, I'm committed to making the most from what I have, and I can find a use for practically anything. As a result, I turned our home and my studio and office into an attractive, well-organized landfill. I'm over it.

After vigorously pruning before the move only to find that I had an additional ten boxes of books and magazines (Are you beginning to get the picture?), six more giant sacks of clothes, and six boxes of unclassifiable junk to get rid of, I saw the light. Never again am I going to collect more than I can keep attractively and accessibly in the space I already have. No more will I hold onto odd screws, outdated clothes, and books just because they could conceivably be useful to someone, somewhere, someday. If you, too, have been slowly suffocating under growing piles of indispensable clutter, it's time to take the clutter challenge.

Evaluate how true each of these statements is for you on a scale of 1 to 5. Be honest. Then choose one area in which you fall short and resolve to de-clutter there, this week, without fail.

1. Each season I discard or donate the clothing that I did not wear, whether or not it still fits and regardless of whether or not I made it myself.

2. I buy quality books in hardcover and donate them to the library when I finish them, except only books that I use in the day-to-day operation of my business or that I resort to on an ongoing basis for inspiration and delight. (Note: the test is not whether I might use them, but whether or not I DO use them.)

3. I give away, recycle, or toss anything I have not used for a year. (If I do find I want something like it in the future, I will happily borrow, rent, or buy it, knowing that in the meantime I have not had to pay to store it, clean it, or look for it.)

4. I return -- immediately -- any purchase that does not fit or function.

5. I repair anything within a week of when it breaks or stops working or I discard/donate it.

6. At the end of each year, I discard files that are more than seven years old.

7. I discard, donate, or recycle any souvenir or memento that is not framed and displayed within thirty days of acquisition.

Action tip: Get a clutter buddy and make a commitment to each other that you will put these principles to work. Make a date to go to the recycling center, the dump, and Goodwill together. Help each other say "no" to the clutter in your lives. Phone each other for support and intervention whenever you are tempted to rent a storage unit, buy new shelving or drawers, or build a shed. Bonus tip: Lose the catalogs. Recycle them immediately and write the Mail Preference Service of the Direct Marketing Association to stop future mailings. You'll prevent clutter from both the catalogs and the umpteen goodies that you don't buy because you'll never know you need them.

~ Molly Gordon ~

Finding Motivation: Or What to Do When You Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

Newsletter 11/21/07

"The measure of your success usually comes down to who wins the battle that rages between the two of you. The 'you' who wants to stop, give up, or take it easy, and the 'you' who chooses to beat back that which would stand in the way of your success -- complacency."

~ Chris Widener ~

In all my interactions with people, I've never found anyone, regardless of their level of success, who doesn't sometimes find themselves simply not wanting to do the things that they need and want to do. It is a part of human nature that there will be times that, in spite of all that we need to do, and even desire to, we will find ourselves not wanting to do anything.

And what separates those who will become successful from those who will maintain the status quo, is the ability at those very crucial moments of time when we are making decisions about what we will do, to choose to find the inner motivation that will enable us to conquer our complacency and move on in action.

I find that I confront this issue in my life on a regular basis, so the following success strategies are not merely pie in the sky techniques, but proven ways to get yourself to go even when you don't feel like doing anything.

Honestly evaluate whether or not you need a break.

This is the first thing that I usually do when I find that I don't want to get to a specific action. The fact is that oftentimes we will have been working very hard, and the lethargy we are feeling is really our body and emotions telling us that we simply need a break. And this is where it takes real intellectual honesty because when we don't need a break, our mind is still telling us we need a break! But sometimes we do need a break. I'll give you a good example. I don't particularly like to exercise, but I do almost every day. Sometimes, I find myself before going to the club thinking about how I just didn't feel like going. Most of the time I am just being lazy. However, sometimes I realize that my body needs a break. So from time to time I will take a one- or two-day break from working out. The benefits of this are two-fold: One, my body gets a break to regenerate itself. Two, after a day or two, I begin to miss my workout, and eagerly anticipate a turning to the gym. Other examples: Perhaps you are a salesman who has been phoning clients for a week straight, day and night. You wake up one morning and just don't feel like doing it any more. Well, take a break for the morning. Go to a coffee shop and read the paper. Go to the driving range and hit some golf balls. Take a break and then get back to it!

Start small.

I'm at a point in my workout schedule now where a typical workout day for me consists of 30 to 45 minutes of aerobic exercise, and about 30 minutes of weight lifting. So when I find myself not wanting to get up and go to the gym, I will sometimes make a commitment to go and just do a smaller workout. Instead of deciding not to go, I'll commit to doing 15 to 20 minutes of aerobic exercise and 15 to 30 minutes of weight lifting. This is also good for two reasons. One, I actually get some exercise that day. And two, it keeps me from getting into a cycle of giving up when I don't feel like moving toward action. Other examples: Maybe you are a writer who simply doesn't want to write today. Instead of the long day writing you had planned, decide that you will at least outline a couple of new articles. You will at least get these done, and you may have found that you put yourself into the writing mood after all.

Change your routine.

I have found that what keeps me in the best shape and burns the most calories for me is to do 30 to 45 minutes on the treadmill every day. Now let me be very blunt. I find running on the treadmill to be extremely boring. Usually I can get myself to do it, but sometimes I need to vary my routine. So instead of 30 to 45 minutes on a treadmill, I will break down my aerobic exercise routine into a number of different areas. I will do 10 to 15 minutes on the treadmill, 10 to 15 minutes on the reclining cycle, 5 to 10 minutes on the rowing machine, 5 to 10 minutes on the stair stepper, and then back on to the treadmill for five to 10 minutes. I still get my exercise, but I'm bored a lot less. Other examples: Maybe you are in construction and you have been working on the plumbing for a week, and it is getting monotonous. Don't do the plumbing today! Go frame-in the office.

Reward yourself.

One way that I motivate myself to do something when I don't feel like doing it is to tell myself that if I get through the work that I need to, I will give myself a little reward. For instance, I may tell myself if I to get up and go to the club, I can take five to 10 minutes off my treadmill exercise, which will shorten my workout routine, and I'll allow myself to sit in the hot tub for a few extra minutes. Hey, it works! Other examples: Maybe you are a mortgage broker who feels like sleeping in. Tell yourself that after the next three mortgages you close, you will take your kids to the fair or your spouse to the movies. Maybe you'll give yourself a night on the town with old friends.

Reconnect the action with pleasure rather than pain.

Psychologists have long told us that we humans tend to connect every action with either pleasure or pain. Tony Robbins has popularized this even further in the last few years with something he calls Neural Associations. That is, we connect every action with either a pleasure or pain. When we are finding ourselves lacking motivation, what we are probably finding about ourselves is that we are associating the action that we are thinking about with pain, rather than pleasure. For instance, when I'm considering not going to the health club on any given day, I am usually associating going and working out with having no time, the pain of exercising and weight lifting, or the boringness of running on a treadmill for an extended period of time. What I can do to re-associate is to remind myself that by going in and doing my exercise, I will feel better about myself, I will lose weight, and I will live longer. This brings me pleasure. When we begin to run those kinds of tapes through our minds, we find our internal motivating force unleashed and changing our attitude about the action that we are considering. Other examples: Maybe you are a counselor who really doesn't want to spend the day listening to people. Your association may be that it will be boring, or that you will be inside while it is sunny outside. Instead, re-associate yourself to the truth of the matter: Someone will be better off because of your care and concern. Think of your clients and the progression they have been making recently and how you have been a part of that.

Give these ideas a try and see if you don't find yourself pushing through into action!

Adding To Your Credibility - Just Say No! (Part 2)

Newsletter 11/14/07

Last week we talked about some of the reasons that many of us have difficulty saying no, in our work or our personal life. Giving a thoughtful no when it is appropriate for you will add much more happiness and much less stress to your life. You will also be much more credible. How could you develop a filter for yourself, or your accepted standard through which to make your decisions and to give your answers? There are several things to consider when you wish to say no.

• If you want to say no, then be truthful and really say it; no explanation is necessary, and do not dilute your words by mumbling something like, "check back with me if you don't find anyone."
• Make sure your body language matches your answer.
• When you say no, be sure to visualize the good ramifications of this decision in order to support your choice. Take the time to visualize how professional you are by not overextending yourself, and make an affirmation around it, such as, "I am making the best choice possible for all those involved."

If you want to say yes, but are unsure if you will be able to devote the proper amount of time to the task or project in question, determine all the options before making your commitment.

• Determine exactly what needs to be done, how long it will take and how the activity can be broken down into manageable chunks that fit in with your schedule.
• Be definite about how you can contribute, and set boundaries around your time.
• Find out if there are others who can share the responsibility. Perhaps the task would benefit from others helping and dividing the work. Then be sure to ask for the help needed.

It is also important to think first, before you offer assistance that you may impetuously offer out of habit. Have you noticed when others offer to do something that they really cannot do, and you begin to feel as though you cannot count on them?

• Count to three before you make a spontaneous offer to help or take over a project. Think it through, estimating the time availability, and whether it would be best to not offer empty albeit well meaning promises.

How can taking the extra time to make your decision add to your peace and serenity and your professionalism and integrity? Notice of all the times you need to take a moment and think before you offer or respond.

~ Lorraine ~

Adding To Your Credibility - Just Say No! (Part 1)

Newsletter 11/7/07

A "no" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

~MAHATMA GANDHI~

How many times have we said "yes," and what we really needed to say was "no?" As women, we have been known to put others first and it can be a habit that is deeply ingrained. Can we make a new habit of putting ourselves first? There are many reasons that keep us saying yes to every request for our time and for our efforts. Do you think you would have less stress if you were able to think your answer through before saying yes? What are some reasons that many of us quickly agree to saying yes without thinking deeply about our choices?

First of all, we often have ourselves on auto pilot to say yes, almost like a default program on our computer that opens up whenever we turn the computer on; very often we can find ourselves saying yes every time there is a request directed at us. Being available to cheerfully assist could make us feel as though we will be better liked and we will appear as a cooperative person; an important aspect of success in our work is being a good team player. Saying yes could make us feel important, and it could also be that we love to be needed; most of us are just plain nice, but it really isn't always being nice to ourselves in the moment.

One of the ways I justify my own lack of determining what is best for me is that I know I will enjoy doing what is asked of me. I love the challenge of fitting one more activity into an already busy schedule. Unrealistically, I just have not thought it through, to realize the truth that there may not be enough hours to comfortably add another task to the mix of activities. Now I realize I have said yes too often and took on too many projects that are of my own liking. This can definitely interfere with what is best for me and my peak performance. When we know why we tend to say yes when we should say no, it is helpful to create the criteria through which we will determine the best choice for answering "yes" or "no."

I challenge you to notice the times when you are asked to do for others, or the times when we just offer to help even when we have not been asked to help. Just by becoming aware of these times, we can begin to notice when we need to stop and place some thought into choosing our action.

~ Lorraine ~